Forgiveness

I'm trying hard not to beat myself up. Not so much for letting the time slip by, but more for allowing my relationship with Juniper to go back to the way it was. Second grade has been a difficult adjustment for her. Her first track out wasn't as fun as I had hoped. I let myself get overwhelmed with other things in life. I pray that since she is young, she won't remember most of this. I pray if she does remember, she understands that things happen. Life does get in the way. What I need to do now is forgive myself and try again.

Girl Time

The boys left on Saturday to spend some time with Grammie. Juniper and I were so excited to have some girl time. It was much needed. I've been worried about Juniper lately. Adjusting to 2nd grade and a new teacher has not been easy. She's been more emotional than normal.

So, we did everything she wanted to do. Make-up, games, chocolate. We went to see The Last Airbender at the movies. After, we got McDonald's and had sundaes before dinner. Then, we watched Princess Diaries 2 and had some good laughs. We ended up falling asleep around 11pm in my bed.

In the morning, she made scrambled eggs. The rest of the time we just hung out and waited for the guys to come home. It was so much fun!

Off Track

Somewhere in the last 2 weeks, I've gotten off track, lost my focus. The consequences? Juniper and I have slid back into that rut. I lose my patience quickly, she yells at me and slams her door. To make matters worse, she's been getting in trouble at school. This makes our mornings difficult because she REALLY doesn't want to go to school. It's not fair. Everything I've worked for...I'm so mad at myself.

Next Saturday, Keaton & David are going to spend the night with Grammie. (Thanks, Teresa!) Juniper & I get a girl's night together. What will we do, you ask? I don't care. As long as it involves spending time with my sweet girl and eating chocolate. One of my next tasks is to make a special dinner for her and spend that time focusing on her. We are really looking forward to our time together.

I will try my best to make this week better than it's been. I'll pray for her more, laugh with her more and have more patience.

Day 16...Love Intercedes

Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers. 3 John 2

Today's task was to pray for Juniper's heart, to pray for area's where I desire for God to work in her and our relationship.

I have begun praying for Juniper's mind and heart. She worries a lot so I want the Lord to ease her mind. I also want Him to know in her heart that she is truly loved.

God is so amazing and has really worked wonders in my relationship with Juniper. I've stopped beating myself up for not doing this blog every day. It seems to be working just fine the way I'm doing it.

Day 15...Love is Honorable

This task was to was to show honor and respect by doing things out of normal routine, such as holding the door open for her, helping her put her clothes away, etc. I'm supposed to show Juniper that she is highly esteemed in my eyes.

Okay. I skipped this one and I'll tell you why. Every day I strive to show Juniper respect and to honor her. Since I began this, I can tell that Juniper knows she means the world to me. She's always meant the world to me but now I've shown her that she does.

Day 14...Love Takes Delight

Today's task was to neglect an activity I would normally do to spend some time with Juniper. Something she'd love to do. Just spend time together.

When I woke up this morning, everyone was still asleep, so I showered and Juniper woke up. So she and I went shopping for school supplies. It was so much fun! Just an hour and 1/2 chatting, picking out supplies, choosing a first day of school outfit, etc. I know it doesn't sound like something she'd like to do, but she is so excited about starting 2nd grade. I was so glad I spent that time with her instead of waking up and getting straight to housework.

This evening, I helped her straighten her room up (at her request) and we got to giggling about things. She actually wanted to spend time with me!!! I am just soaring right now!!!

Day 13...Love Fights Fair

If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25

This task was about establishing healthy rules of engagement. I was supposed to discuss with Juniper about fighting fairly.

Okay. I'll be honest with you. I didn't do this task. This is another one of those tasks that works better with a spouse. Juniper knows name calling and/or aggressiveness is not allowed. Yes, she occasionally yells, "You're the worst mother!" or "I don't like you!". Most days I handle this well. Though recently, when she told me I wasn't a good mother, I (without much detail) told her she had no idea what a bad mom was and she should be thankful for the one she has. I understand these words are out of anger and she doesn't mean them. I mean, hey, I have my moments, why can't she?

I, of course, try always to fight fair. I don't insult her or belittle her. I try not to yell. If I find I'm about to get out of control, I take a time out. I just pray we continue behaving this way as she gets older.

On an *AWESOME* note, yesterday I was up at 5am with some bad sinus pain. I moved out into the living room and ended up falling back asleep. I woke up at 8am to Juniper in the kitchen. I just figured, she was getting her breakfast like she usually does. Instead, she was getting me a bowl of cereal and brought it to me in the living room. This made me feel so special! I'm continually amazed at the transformation of our relationship.